I arrived at her location and interviewed with her for two hours. Fully one hour and 45 minutes of that was her talking about how her husband, uncle, cousin, fifth husband, third tenant and first tenant as well as her next door neighbors drove her nuts- they all took advantage of her, making her a "helpless, poor, broken down old lady! (sob!) "
She doesn't like noise (anything above a whisper is noise). She doesn't like music (anything above a hum is too loud).
But of course, smoking a half a pack of cancer sticks a day in the house while drinking coffee is perfectly okay (she's been inhaling arsenic from those things for at least thirty years, her teeth are as yellow as lemons!)
But, during the interview, being the nice person I am, I took all this into account and contemplated whether or not I wanted to move in with this person as my landlord. When she got to the whole "if my second husband hadn't died of a brain tumor, I would have brained him with his own golfclubs years ago, but then my son told me I needed to be more businesslike" speech, I chose not to but told her that I would "be in contact in a couple of days."
So she called me at seven AM the next day. and nine. and ten thirty. and twelve thirty. And two forty five. Then three fifteen. Followed by six thirty.
This routine continued for four days.
Each time, she would leave a message that sounded like "umm...yes..umm...this...er...is kath...leen I....just want...ed... to knowooo... if you were...um...plann...ing to move in tomORRow..." Due to my work obligations, I could not respond to her either by phone or email, not until after 6:30. She knew this. And then, just two days ago, I received a very troubling email from her (which proves to me that I had made the right decision) entitled "thank you for letting me play my game!", which essentially labelled me as an undereducated vagabond. Heres the email of that (sob) helpless, poor, broken down old lady:
YOUR RAW ANGER TOWARD LANDLORDS RUINED ANY INTEREST I HAD IN YOU AS A POTENTIAL ROOMMATE! I AM SURE YOU SAT THERE THINKING YOU COULD CONVINCE A DUMB BLONDE, THAT YOU WOULD BE MY CHOICE!
(I haven't the slightest idea what she's talking about here.)
BIG RED FLAGS: WHEN I MENTIONED REFERENCES, AND A CRIMINAL BACKGROUND CHECK, YOU WENT SILENT.(I went silent as I was still stunned that she had railed for over an hour about her financial woes).WHEN YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE STAYING IN SOME SLEEZY HOTEL, THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A VACANCY, MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS...DOES THIS GUY NOT PLAN AHEAD?
(I told her that my landlord had lost the house and locked his tenants out. Apparently Kathleen was still too filled with rage at her own situation to listen.)
LASTLY, WHEN YOU HAD THE GALL TO ASK ME, IF YOU COULD SLEEP ON MY COUCH, THAT NIGHT....THAT WAS IT!
(I never asked her anything of the sort. Again, I have no clue what this woman is even talking about).
YOU NEED TO IMPROVE YOUR INTERVIEWING TECHNIQUES...AND STOP WASTING OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME!
(My interviewing techniques are fine, trust me. I just landed a five year guaranteed job in the aeronautics industry.)
WHY, oh WHY would ANYONE ever want to hurt that poor, broken down, helpless, sweet old lady who likes to call her tenants bitches and whores!? (SOB...GIGGLE...CHOKE!!!!!!)
Kathleen Mckeegan, (or should I say, "cuteclassic" on rommmates.com) you will have yourself a nice lonely existence.
In case you can't hear that, let me turn the volume up for ya:
KATH...LEEN MC....KEE...GAN....YOU HAVE YOUR..SELF A NICE LONE...LY EX...IS...TANCE! (now, Kathleen, if you still can't read this, put the lucky strikes and the decanter of sherry '57 down and feel free to put your quintupplefocals on so you can read the computer screen.
MISCELLANY
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